Adventures In Parodyverse: The Ride - Tales of the Parodyverse

Adventures In Parodyverse - The Ride

    Visionary swallowed hard as he watched the purple-haired leather-clad Yuki Shiro walk back and forth through the Lair Mansion's kitchen making her way to the garage. He tried to remind himself that she was a cyborg - her whole body artificial - to think of her in more sterile terms but it wasn't working. The fact was her small feminine body wrapped in leather was both cute and attractive.

    "Heya, Vizh," she greeted him cheerily yet softly. She passed close by and placed a gloved hand on his shoulder, and then moved on.

    He swallowed again but didn't speak. He was trying unsuccessfully not to think about what else he noticed - her leather jacket was only zipped up three quarters of the way giving the appearance that she wore nothing underneath. At least he hoped it was a mistaken impression. "Uhhh...hi," he said, almost forgetting to speak until the last moment.

    She finally stopped directly in front of Visionary, ignoring that his eyes seemed to follow the point where her jacket zipper rested. "You look like you have something on your mind," she said.

    Visionary visibly lurched as he suddenly snapped back to reality. "Ummm...yes. I mean no. I mean...yes, I have something on my mind. Well not really something, just--"

    Yuki interrupted him by laughing. "Y'know, with all the girls you're friendly with it's funny how you still get so shaken up whenever one talks to you."

    "I'm...uh...sorry?" he replied in a small voice. He looked down into her purple eyes. They reflected amusement back at him. He couldn't help but wonder why someone shorter than him could intimidate him so much.

    "Were you thinking of going out somewhere?" Yuki asked.

    Visionary then remembered the jacket hanging from his arm. She was indeed a detective after all. He tried to quickly toss it over one of the kitchen chairs to pretend he had no intention of going anywhere. The jacket bounced off the chair and fell to the floor, and at that moment the realization hit him that the ruse wouldn't work on her anyway. "I...I guess I was. I'm not sure now."

    "C'mon, I'll give you a ride," Yuki suggested. She waved him to follow her.

    It wasn't until Visionary obediently followed her to the garage that he figured out she meant on her motorcycle rather than in a car. "I don't think that would be safe," he said. "For me, at least. And you're not insured for two riders are you?"

    Yuki hopped over the bike and sat down, patting the seat behind her. "Vizh, stop whining and get on."

    He sulked but obeyed. Visionary still wasn't sure if it was safe to argue with her. "There's no seat belt," he complained.

    She plunked a helmet on his head and smiled at him. "Just hang on to me," she said. Her voice came from the speakers in the high-tech helmet, perfectly timed with the movement of her mouth. She knew how to interface with it somehow.

    Visionary held on to her jacket gently. She frowned, knowing that would be inadequate for her kind of driving, so she snatched his hands and wrapped them more tightly around her torso.

    "Like a dance partner, Vizh," she ordered through the speakers. "Ever dance before?"

    "I've done a few dances, yes," he replied, unsure if she could hear.

    That reply was insufficient for Yuki, so she changed strategy. "Hmm...remember all that time you spent with Pricilla? You probably tried a few exotic things, right?"

    "Huh?" Visionary asked, feigning ignorance.

    "Close your eyes and hold on to me like you're gonna take me from behind." Yuki suggested playfully.

    "Like I'm...what?"

    "Just do it!" Yuki ordered loudly through the speakers.

    Rattled, Visionary closed his eyes and cupped his hands over her breasts. He regretted doing that immediately and almost let go right away...

    ...but then Yuki simply said, "That'll do," and the bike started moving quickly. Visionary was afraid to move his hands, or even his toes at that point. "Where am I taking you?" she asked him through the helmet speakers.

    There was no reply. And it didn't make him any more talkative when Yuki turned around to look at him while she was still moving forward. He sat behind her, wide-eyed, his hands still in the same place holding on with a death grip.

    "Relax, Vizh," Yuki cheerfully spoke with a smile. "I won't let you get hurt, I promise. How would I ever explain that to Maggie and Griff?"

    That last part finally did prompt Visionary to relax...slightly. He finally replied to her first question. "Umm...the repair shop. I have to pick up my car."

    "You broke the ride I had pimped for you?" Yuki asked, the question sounding almost threatening.

    "No, it kinda...broke itself. I wouldn't start."

    "I'm sorry about that," Yuki replied softly. "Next time you have problems with it let me fix it for free. I may be a girl but I know my engines." She revved the motorcycle and smiled to emphasize her point.

    "Hey Yuki?" Visionary finally calmed enough to move his hands to her waist and ask a serious question. "I...I've had problems with the guys at this repair shop before. How good are you at keeping them from cheating me?"

    "Cheating you?" Yuki turned to look at Visionary again, which made him nervous. She chuckled in a way that made Visionary even more nervous. "Vizh, by the time I get done with them they'll owe you money. In fact, let's play a little game with them."

---

    Visionary walked into a small repair shop located at the south end of Paradopolis just outside Mangatown. It was one of those places where even the door handles were coated in mechanical grease, and the parking lot was full of cars in various states of rusting, because maybe they might sell them or use them for spare parts someday.

    "Oh, it's you again," a fat mechanic in filthy overalls noted as he stood behind the counter wiping down some large metal part or another. Visionary hoped it wasn't one of his.

    "You called," Visionary said quickly. "Said my car's ready."

    "Yup, it's ready. I hope you got lots of money, we had to replace the startenator and the spark injector.

    "Spark what now?" Visionary asked.

    "It's a real expensive part!" the mechanic spouted. "But you're lucky I caught it, if it goes out your car would start squealin' like a pig and spewing grey smoke."

    "Grey smoke?" Visionary fidgeted nervously. He then started looking for his wallet. He started sweating when he realized that Yuki had stolen it - she didn't trust him not to pay the mechanic whatever he asked.

    "Hiya," Yuki announced herself with as she entered the small greasy office. He glanced down at her leather glove and wiped it off on a poster on the wall.

    "Can I help you?" the greasy mechanic asked, seeing another easy target.

    Yuki approached the desk and looked at the metal piece the mechanic had been wiping down. "Let me guess...valve job, only you just clean the cover and the block and don't actually replace any valves?"

    The mechanic nearly dropped the metal piece on the floor. "I...I don't know what you're talkin' about."

    Yuki ignored him and indicated toward Visionary. "So which wire got loose in my friend's car?"

    Another blank look from the mechanic.

    "You know, there's a law against this," Yuki told him. "Taking advantage of trusting, marginally intelligent customers."

    "Hey!" Visionary protested.

    "But you know what there's no law against? Me fixing every car in here overnight and returning them to your customers...for free. And by the way, letting them know why it was so easy for me to do that."

    "You can't fix--" the mechanic began, before Yuki cut him off.

    She calmly took the top off of the partial engine sitting on the counter and twisted out all of the spark plugs. That was a job that normally required strong metal tools. Obviously the mechanic began to freak out a bit. "These are filthy. I'm sure you left them in so you can milk the customer some more when the engine still doesn't run right."

    "You can't prove--" he tried again before being cut off again.

    "Y'know, you can get rid of me any time now by giving me the keys to my friend's car."

    "But what about the bill?" he asked.

    "The bill? Hmm." Yuki shrugged. "I suppose I could fix a couple of things here while I'm waiting for you to find the paperwork."

    The mechanic looked down and realized that Visionary's paperwork was missing. He looked up again and saw Yuki eyeing a couple of cars in the service bay. He cursed and reached behind him, plucking Visionary's keys off the board on the wall. He handed them to Visionary without a word.

---

    "What do you think?" Yuki asked Visionary as she handed him the pilfered paperwork.

    "Thanks," he said. "Especially for not resorting to violence. And for not slapping me when I held on to...well..."

    "Violence is so boring most of the time," Yuki noted. "And you? You're not a stranger, and I know you're not a perv. Besides, at least it kept you holding on. Better than falling and getting hurt."

    "Yes, well--" Visionary fidgeted and looked down as he said, "There was...um...plenty to hold on to?"

    Yuki smiled warmly and stood on her toes to kiss him on the cheek. "That's very sweet of you to say." She turned her back to him and quickly skipped back to her motorcycle.

    "Yuki?" Visionary called after her.

    "Yes?" she turned around, the helmet Visionary wore earlier in her hand. She was storing it on the bike somewhere when he interrupted.

    "Can you...uh...follow me home? This car's kind of old, and...AAA cancelled my membership for abuse."

    "No problem Vizh," she said with a nod as she climbed aboard her motorcycle and started the engine.


-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2007 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
-- Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
-- Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin

Post By Anime Jason presents a small bonus Sun May 13, 2007 at 11:42:23 am EDT	Subject Adventures In Parodyverse: The Ride

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